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Dear Billy,

Thank you for taking time out of your shift at Waffle House to send such a thought provoking comment to a completely unrelated post. I figure you deserve a response. For the record, if you’re a Billy Jo or a  Billy Jean, ping me again because I like your kind of foreplay. I’m not into Deliverance so if  you are a Billy Bob or Billy Ray,  I wish you the best of luck finding love at your next family reunion.

Here is your comment broken down into sections so that I can respond accordingly:

I have a suggestion. If you are a Democrat, then we already know you are worthless.

Billy, I’m not a Democrat. I do the research and vote for the person, not the party. BTW, what was the suggestion?

You probably never participated in a sport, never believed in any sort of anything,…

WTF do sports have to do with political opinion?  Oh forget it.  I love the grammatical redundancy and I assure you that I believe in God, family, and the Bill of Rights. Sorry I don’t share your views on owning slaves and burning churches.

and probably too chicken s**t to serve your country…

Dude, Red Dawn is my favorite movie too. Go Wolverines!

… although I’m sure you’ve asked for handouts all your life. So do me a favor. Go buy a gun, buy a bullet, and blow your f***ing head off. The world would actually be better off without you. Trust me… there are studies to show it would.

Billy, I’ve been self-sufficient since before I was out of high school. I’ve never taken a handout and I’m quite positive that I’ve contributed more money to poor white trash causes than you earn in 3 years at the feed store.  By the way, living in the old trailer behind your moms double wide is not being self-sufficient; It’s a handout.  For the record, I already own multiple guns but I’m curious where you heard of these “studies”. Did yer pappy learn you that when you was in the duck blind?

Democrats are without a doubt the dumbest people I’ve ever met in my life. I have NEVER I repeate NEVER met a Democrat with an IQ high enough to carry on an intelligent conversation. In fact, that is why I used short sentences in one of the aforementioned statements.

The next time you want to convince someone that you are more intelligent than they are, remember:

  • There is no ‘e’ at the end of the word repeat.
  • You live in a state in which only 3 out 4 people graduate high school and less than 1 in 5 get a bachelors degree.  Both are below the national average. Visit the Census Bureau for facts.

Oh and by the way, Alabama has a higher rate of poverty than the national average, which means YOUR people take the handouts, bitch!

I love fan mail.

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