Archive for the ‘Election 2008’ Category

I try to love my fellow Americans, but some states make it nearly impossible.  The collection of inbred jackasses pulling strings in South Carolina has hit an all time low.

Remember that South Carolina is being governed by Mark Sanford who disappeared and didn’t talk to his staff or family for more than 4 days, including Fathers Day. Parent of the year, he is not, but in his defense… he was banging some Latin trim in Argentina.  OK, so he’s not husband of the year material either.  Despite changing his story more times than I suspect Limbaugh flies to Thailand for sex, he refuses to resign.

Then there is probably the biggest South Carolina douchebag of all… Senator Jim DeMint. He’s one of those “If you’re against the President [Dubya] and the war, you’re against America” republicans.  F*cking hypocrites, all of them.  Here’s what he said a couple of months ago about Obama and he hasn’t backed down since.

“If we’re able to stop Obama on this [health care issue] it will be his Waterloo. It will break him.”

I guess by Southern Republican definition of patriotism, you only have to be loyal to white presidents. Put a black man in the White House and you must “break him.”

After being criticized recently, a couple of De Mint’s fellow SC Republikkkan politicians, came to his defense with an op-ed. It opened with:

Recently your newspaper published a letter from state Rep. Bakari Sellers attacking U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint and his opposition to congressional earmarks. There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves.

Did they really just say that Jews are penny pinchers in an op-ed piece?!   Why do I get the feeling that the term “uppity Negro” was also in the op-ed but was removed before printing?

Can nobody put a stop to these racist pigs?!  Fuck South Carolina.

If we’re able to stop Obama on this it will be his Waterloo. It will break him.”

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Here’s Your Sign…

If you’ve ever seen the comedy act of Bill Engvall, you’ll understand the context of the title of this post. If you haven’t seen him because you’ve been living in a cave for the last 8 years, you should check him out here.  Basically, he uses the term when people do or say something really stupid.  He thinks that stupid people should be required to carry a sign identifying themselves as such.

We’ll here’s a guy that brought his own sign. In fact, he brought his sign to a town hall meeting on health care reform at the Hagerstown Community College in Maryland.  Although it didn’t say, “I’m an idiot” per se, what it did say left no question that he was.

Death to Obama

Death to Michelle and her two stupid kids

As the local Sheriff handed over to Secret Service custody, I had to ask myself how does someone that f*cking stupid even know where to find a college campus.

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I Heart Death Panels

People are going to start talking about Sarah and I.  It seems she “stirs” me in places few do. Let me dispel the rumors now… Sarah and I are not getting back together. The nookie was good, but I can’t be with a woman who repeatedly overcooks ptarmigan.

Interestingly enough its not so much what Sarah says that gets me riled up. I mean, she scares me with her spreading misconceptions and ignorance, but it’s her followers that REALLY scare me.

I’m afraid of the droves of Midwestern housewives that listen to her and spread the fear, hate, and lies.  You know which ones I’m talking about. You can find them wearing sweatshirts embroidered with cats and making green jello cottage cheese “salad.”  Yeah these are the voters, I’m afraid of.

Palin earlier this week wrote:

The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society,” whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.

You might be surprised to learn that there is in fact NO such death panel language in the bill, nor anything that could be construed as such by anyone with half a brain. That’s why only Newt Gingrich supported her claim.  Why isn’t he dead yet?  Sorry, I digress.

A number of Republicans are telling her that she’s full of crap, but even fellow Alaskan and Republican, Senator Lisa Murkowski said yesterday:

It does us no good to incite fear in people by saying that there’s these end-of-life provisions, these death panels. Quite honestly, I’m so offended at that terminology because it absolutely isn’t (in the bill). There is no reason to gin up fear in the American public by saying things that are not included in the bill.

For arguments sake, let’s just pretend that there ARE death panels. Would  they be so bad?  I hope it’s like jury duty because this is one panel I’d LOVE to be on. Especially if the docket looked like this:

  • Sarah Palin
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Octomom
  • Dick Cheney
  • Ann Coulter
  • Newt Gingrich

If I had to review the case files for these f*cktards, would I give the gift of life ? Hmmm…. Not on my watch. To the gallows!

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The Bracket of Evil

With all the March Madness mania going on this week, it’s hard not to find a college basketball tournament bracket above every water cooler at work.  But let’s face it… unless you went to one of the colleges, who really gives a shit about a bunch of college hoops?  On entertainment value alone, I’d rather watch Palin as a keynote speaker or listen to Rush Limbaugh talk about his drug addiction.

But today, I came across this gem of a bracket and it’s my favorite topic… which Republican (or fascist Republican dominated entity) is the most evil of all.   Make your picks.  Only 5 days remaining in the first round!


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Just Kidding.

There’s a funny scene in Howard Sterns’ Private Parts movie where he says, “Kill, kill, kill the white man.”   I laugh whenever I see the scene but when I read stories like this one, I don’t laugh so much.

The Tennessee inbreeder known as Chip Saltsman who ran Mike Fuckabee’s failed campaign for the presidency, is now in a bid to be the Republican national chair.  Like a school kid passing out homemade buttons to his classmates trying to promote his agenda, Chip decided to send out Christmas CDs to win the vote.  Except among the songs on the CD was one titled “Barack the Magic Negro”.  Oh, there were many other offensive songs as well.

Bad Judgement or Racist?... Both

Bad Judgement or Racist?... Both

At the least, this type of activity seems childish. If a school kid did this, he’d likely get punished at school in addition to getting his ass kicked by classmates. But this is a man contending to be the leader of the Republican party.  Does anyone see a problem with this?  Apparently not.  As I’ve said before the GOP is a breeding ground for hate and racism and many believe this hasn’t hurt his chances to lead the RNC.

As my friends in England would say, if I saw this jerkoff give me this pedophile smirk on the street, I’d kick him in his c*nt.

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Ann Coulter… I don’t think I’ve ever had a pleasant thought about her. There was that one dream that involved being rough over the hood of a car and leaving her in the middle of Appalachia, but that was only pleasant for about 60 seconds.

But enough about that.

Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter

Recently we learned that the lovely Ms. Coulter had her mouth wired shut. A dream come true for anyone that has had to listen to her divisive and misleading rants.

One could only hope that her venom might weld this thing together. Permanently.

See you next Tuesday, Ann!

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I’m stumped and frankly I think it’s really sad that a guy like John McCain could lose in states that George W. Bush won. An intelligent war hero couldn’t carry states that voted for a dumb-as-dirt puppet. That’s akin to Jesse Owens losing a race to a salamander.

John McCain isn’t perfect. He’s had his legal troubles. He cheated on his wife. He allowed Palin on his ticket. But seriously folk, HOW could anyone vote for a moron like GW Bush and then have second thoughts about McCain? If Bush had a brain and didn’t go AWOL during Vietnam, he would still be half of the man of John McCain.

The way I see it, there are three possibilities:

Possibility #1 – Many republicans finally had enough of the greed and manipulation. They realized that the modern GOP is no longer the party of their grandparents. The recognized the corruption and lies and voted their conscience, not their party. I have family in North Carolina that tell me this is a strong possibility.

Possibility #2 – Non-Republicans finally organized to take back the power from these crooks. They did so with such coordination, educated debate, and passion that more voters turned out than in previous years.

Possibility #3 – Republicans are f*cking idiots.

I’m sticking with #3.

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Das Vadanya Icebox

I expect to get a call from Barack Obama any day now asking me to be his Secretary of the Interior. My first course of action is to return Seward’s big purchase. That’s right… I’m selling Alaska back to the Russians. They can have it.  All I ask is that they do a better job of protecting the wildlife than we did.

Other than the wildlife and the landscape of places like the Brooks Range, there is nothing good about that state. Sadly, I have relatives living there but I’m willing to cull my herd just to get rid of the meatheads that would vote for a convicted felon for the US Senate.

Senator Stevens, the longest serving Oil party senator was recently convicted of ALL SEVEN counts of violating ethics laws by lying on his Senate disclosure forms. Don’t know what that means? Let me explain…

He took $250,000 in “gifts” (AKA Bribes) from a friend who ran Alaska’s biggest oil contracting firm.

The fact that half of Alaska’s voters would vote for a guy that was just under suspicion for breaking the publics trust for personal gain would be appalling enough, but he wasn’t just under suspicion. He wasn’t just on trial, even. He was F*cking CONVICTED and these idiots still voted for him.

For the 80,000 Alaskans who voted for Obama of which most I’m sure voted for Stevens’ opponent, I wish you the best of luck.

Das vadanya, comrades.

PS. Florida, you are so friggin lucky I see a blue outline on the map. I was already making calls to sell your ass to Cuba.

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Roger Wicker, the Republican Senator from Mississippi with the pedophile smile, was so desperate that he decided to place his name on sample Democratic tickets. One can only imagine that his hope was to fool individuals so disgruntled by the Rebuplican party, that he was a Democrat. So much for running on your own merits.

F*cking dirtbag.

Roger Wicker - GOP Asshole of the Week

Roger Wicker - GOP Asshole of the Week

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F*ck YEAH!!!

I haven’t been feeling well lately so there has been a lull in the posts, but tonight my blood pressure fell, my cholesterol dropped 14 points, and my penis just grew 2 inches. THATS how good today is!!!

Congratulations to Barack Obama!

Congratulations also to John McCain for delivering an eloquent and gracious concession speech. Despite it all, there is something I like about that guy. I think he sold his soul this year and that makes me sad because I believe he was a true patriot.  Palin is still a waste of oxygen.

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