Archive for the ‘Completely Irrelevant’ Category

According to all of the major news outlets and even the FauxNews outlets, a strange thing happened in Arkansas today.  I know, you’re probably thinking thinking that some backwoods politician made racial comments and got away with it, or some rich white kids tormented an African American student, but why would I write about that?  That’s not strange in Arkansas. That shit happens every day.

But in an incident which I suspect is motivation by color, 2,ooo BLACK birds fell from the sky. Dead. No apparent reason.

All racial jesting aside, I suspect they died after flying into a cloud of ignorance.  They were over Arkansas afterall.

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No, not really.  For my dreams to come true, it would require a supertanker to go down in the Arctic Circle with no survivors.  In the hull would have to have been the following people or groups:

  • Current GOP politicians
  • Teabaggers
  • Sarah Palin
  • Rupert Murdoch and the entire FauxNews staff
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Bill O’Reilly
  • Anyone that voted for Sarah Palin, EVER
  • Westboro Baptist Church members
  • Bin Laden and his Taliban peeps
  • Pat Robertson
  • Kanye West
  • Ann Coulter
  • Dick Cheney
  • Glenn Beck
  • Rush Limbaugh  (Yeah, I already listed him. Just making sure)
  • Lindsey Lohans mother
  • Sean Hannity
  • Kim Jong-il
  • Iran
  • the cast of Jersey Shore (and anyone that watches it religiously)
  • Anyone responsible for child abuse
  • Pedophiles not already taken care of as part of the first bullet point

Sadly, its unlikely that dream will ever come true so I’ll have to settle for being the number 1 organic search result in Google when you type in:

“how does an individual find $1,000.000.00 silver certificate bills for sale”

Is that cool or what?!   Thanks Greg for making it happen!

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So I’ve been getting the typical, “you’re a liberal, complaining about life, looking for handouts, etc” hate mail for some time.

I make no apologies for my site or it’s content, however I would like to apologize to those people living in the South that are not racist, inbred, ignorant, rednecks.  To those of you that have reminded me that there are some intelligent people in the South, consider yourself exempt from any future posts about why I hate the South.

In short, keep in mind that I’m trying to have a little fun with some really scary topics because frankly, I cannot comprehend the absurdity of some people.  Let me sign off with this excerpt from About Me:

My opinions… are what I write about in hopes to release some pent up frustration.  It’s better that I do this than drink too much, have an affair with an intern, cheat on my wife, or do drugs with a male prostitute.  After all, those things are better left to those that do them best… Republicans.

It’s my position that if I offend you, its either because you don’t get my humor, like my language, or maybe the truth hurts your feelings.  In any case, I don’t care.  You have a choice to read this site or read other sites. I choose to write semi-cathartic posts based on idiotic events and people involving the GOP.  If you don’t like how I write or what I write about, trying doing this search on Google.

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Gillette is really progressive on their new ad campaign. I found it to be entertaining and scary at the same time. What do you think?

You might ask what does this have to do with Republicans and I’ll have to be honest and say… not much.  However when I saw those 5 razor blades moving over the scrotum, it reminded me of another irritating scrotum… Rush Limbaugh.

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According to a recent Gallup poll, the Republican Party is made up almost entirely by white religious zealots. No shit Sherlock!

Seriously, did that even need to be said? I thought everyone knew that Whitey was running that show over there. The only thing worse that rich white men writing laws for everyone else is a rich white Jesus-freak writing laws.  Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw recently that said:

God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.

I can’t wait to make that into a t-shirt so that the next time I get a couple of missionaries knocking on my door, I can open the door wearing just that and my Scooby Doo boxers.

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For me, the past month has been a roller coaster of must dos and learning on the fly. The birth of a child will do that to you.  I’ve had little sleep and little time to update this blog or do many of the things I once did. Fortunately, things are turning around and because tomorrow is the day that we give thanks, I figured I’d steer clear from my normal sarcastic anti-Republican sentiment and post some things that I’m thankful for.

  1. I’m thankful for my family … most of them anyway.
  2. I’m thankful to be surrounded by people, who despite being smarter than me still consider me a friend.
  3. I’m thankful that there are inspiring people in this world who give more than they expect to receive and do so for the benefit of others.
  4. I’m thankful that I live in the United States where despite the Bush administration, I still have a significant amount of freedom and rights afforded to me.
  5. I’m thankful that no Republicans will be at my house for Thanksgiving.

I tried.

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What does this have to do with my opinions of Republicans? Not a damn thing, but I finally found out what happened to my Omaha-World Herald.

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